Voices

I have a lot of voices in my head today; most of them not very encouraging or nice.  Usually the voices are the characters in my books dictating their dialogue or my mother nudging me with an idea or a memory.  But today, the voices are not mere personalities that I can swat away or ignore for a few more days, weeks, months.  They are not the voice of my mother as she shakes her head or nods in approval during my daily routine. 

Terrorism.  Citizenship.  Betrayal.  Discouragement.  Retaliation.  Hate.  Anxiety.  Rapture.  These are the voices that are milling around in the social speak-easy that is my brain.  They group together and move away in a dance that leaves me confused and angry.  I will admit they are always there, but are unusually loud and more emotional today.

Terrorism is defined, simply as "the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes; the state of fear or submission produced by terrorism or terrorization .  Terrorists are bad, aren't they?  Aside from the pictures our media and our minds conjure up, what really is a terrorist?  A bully?  Someone who doesn't agree with you and violently or viciously causes you to change your opinion or stance?  Anyone who makes you do something against your will?   I've even heard some describe parenting as terrorism of children as we mold and shape these little minds and bodies into frankensteins of ourselves in an attempt to create an historic memoriam of meager lives.  If someone tried to put your head in a toilet, you'd kick and scream to make them stop, right?  If you saw that someone was going to drive off a cliff, you'd try to stop them, wouldn't you?  If you care about something deeply, you should fight to keep it precious and untouched, shouldn't you?

Citizenship.  What is it about our country that makes people flock to it in droves and then try to change it to the way it was 'back home'?  And, what's so wrong with pledging your allegiance to a country that is providing you room, board, education and employment?  If you come to my country then shouldn't you be willing to be loyal to the country you are in?  And, what, exactly is the issue with becoming a legal, tax-paying, voting citizen of that country?  If your country was so great, then why did you leave? Many people have lost their lives to make this the finest country in the world; the country where people sneak across borders, hide in jet airplanes and make dangerous crossings in boats just to say that they live here.

Betrayal.  I feel betrayed by my representatives, my President, my state and most of my family and friends.  I can't believe you actually think that putting us further into the sinkhole by providing free access to everything that those of us that WORK, work hard for, will make this country any more than a dependant slave.  It will not make all people equal.  There will still be those that work and those that don't.  If you don't work, you don't eat.  This is a law of nature.  It doesn't change just because you want it to.

Discouragement.  This has been a sad 400 + days for our country.  We used to be the greatest country in the world.  Now, we are sad and pathetic.  I'm not saying the guys before are blameless.  But the downhill speed seems to be picking up and I'd like to get off, please. 

Retaliation & Hate.  This is the opposite of the "Tolerance" we are bombarded with.   You/they can call me/us members of the "vast right-wing conspiracy, radical-rights, righties and homophobic religious nuts."  Great, if you mean that I believe in less government, more businesses, free enterprise and laws that protect my family, my income and my homeland.   Sure, if you mean that I believe that marriage is between one man and one woman, both consenting adults, who want to live together as nature intended, and procreate (or not) with the intention of being a family, indivisible by anything except death.      NOT between two people who are sexually attracted to each other and want to be acceptable in the eyes of the law and of God by standing in front of a judicial building, having a piece of paper signed legalizing their union so that they can lawfully be in each others' will, adopt or create a child with indeterminate DNA-orientation and a confused ideal of how nature intended families should be and hopefully stay together until they become attracted to someone else or decide they're no longer drawn that way.   Of course I'm intolerant when you think it's more desirable to use abortion as birth control, use those "fetus' who are not really human" to experiment scientifically in hopes of creating a cure or treatment for some disease that is in most instances the consequence of choosing to follow habits that are against nature.  You want choice?  Choose to make the right decisions and accept the consequences for the choices you made. 

Anxiety.  I have to admit my anxiety is mostly gone after the ranting above.  But I am anxious about getting my affairs in order.  I believe it is a very short time before those of us who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ will be removed from this world and caused to endure the vision of the suffering of those who chose not to believe.  I am not gloating.  I am praying.

Rapture.  I do not believe there is an earthly solution to Palestine and Israel, or the Middle East.  I do not believe that Obama is the anti-christ.  I do not believe that I will die before I am raptured.  I do not believe that I will endure the suffering that is written in Revelation. Yes, I am Pre-Tribulation.   I am truly sorry for those of my friends and family that have chosen to ignore my "rants" over the years, no matter how poorly I worded them.  The truth has been there for many, many years and there are many people that have tried to plant the seeds, and have been turned away.  Again, I am not gloating or celebrating that people I have grown fond of on earth may well never see me (nor I them) in heaven or the new Heaven and Earth.  I cannot explain all the intricacies of God's plan for His believers.  That's not my job.  My job is to introduce you to His love, His grace, His salvation.  If I have failed you in this, I apologize. 

You may choose to unfriend me or write hateful and mean things about me in an attempt to quiet my voice.  But the voices scream too loudly in my head for me to drown them out today.  If you did not like me as I was yesterday, you will certainly not like me as I am tomorrow or in the future.  You should remember that I have not lied about my emotions or opinions or beliefs; as I feel you have not lied about yours.  If you truly expected to be a friend, then you should also expect our friendship to have the integrity of honesty and trust.  Friendships built on anything less are not friendships.  If my honesty and passions are uncomfortable for you, you might evaluate if you are uncomfortable with me or with my unwavering belief in what I know to be true.  Or possibly your unrest at the small voice you have quieted time and time again that says that just possibly, I (and others like me) may be right.  Sometimes the voices are right.