A Friend

One of the problems of having a blog that people read is that I need to be aware of my audience.  It’s never my intent to purposefully hurt someone – I’m completely capable of telling someone to their face if I’m unhappy with them if it’s a big enough deal that I need to create the conflict.  So, it’s a pretty safe bet that if I’m unhappy with someone, that someone already knows about it.  (Okay, I’ll admit that Lance Armstrong has no IDEA what a putz I think he is but I don’t think he cares.)

I’m no stranger to conflict; I’ve often joked that even when I try to avoid it conflict finds me easily and without much of a search party.  But as good as I am at talking the talk; I really don’t enjoy conflict and dust-ups and losing friends.

The last few years I’ve had three major people in my life make me reconsider my attitude about friendship.  Each of these people has, in some way, been dishonest or un-trustworthy with me or how they’ve dealt with a situation where I’ve been involved.  And each one of them has had several chances to correct the situation and regain my trust.  And each one of them blew it multiple times and I WALKED AWAY.

When I was a little girl, someone once told me how to remember to spell FRIEND correctly:  “A Friend is a Friend to the e.n.d.”    If only that were true as far as the actual friendship went.

I expect that my friends will be my friends forever; and it hurts me tremendously when I lose a friend.  I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what I did or how I could have saved the relationship; but I think that some relationships are just not meant to be long term.  And, some will withstand the test of time (and Facebook).

I will not be lied to.  I will not allow or be party to someone who can’t represent the truth.  I will not stand quietly by when someone is dishonest or has motives that are selfish and manipulative.  And, if you are reading this and you think it’s about you, well, maybe it is.  But again, you’ll already know where we stand by this point because I’ve offered an olive branch, tried to work it out and spent countless hours trying to mediate or fix the situation and repair the friendship.

 

You can also be pretty sure that you’re in my prayers and that I think of you no matter how long it’s been since we’ve ‘broken up’.  Sometimes the thoughts aren’t as painful anymore and sometimes I just want to scream because it’s just not how I wanted things to end.

And, apparently, God isn’t through teaching me about relationships and how I can be better at them because He tells me every day that HE loves me and that even if I lost every human friend I ever had, HE would still be there.

It’s a good thing we can grow and change and that some of our friends will grow and change with us; and it’s sad that some people just can’t be honest about themselves or others and deal with the consequences.