Fear of failing

So, I have this thing I do.  I have these great ideas and then I think them to death and they never get off the ground.  I hate that I do this; I’m not necessarily a procrastinator at heart (in fact, it bugs me when people can’t just do what they say and get it done).  But, I have this fear, I guess, of failing.

Failing is expensive.  It costs money to do the things I want to start and if I put the money into starting them and then nothing comes of it, was the money wasted?  Or did I just learn an (expensive) lesson?

Failing is scary.  No one wants to fall down – except maybe those people who rappel down mountains or jump off of bridges or out of perfectly good airplanes.

Failing is vulnerable.  People will laugh at my ideas or my failure or the mere idea that I even thought I could do this.

Failing is what everyone does.  Every day we fail in something; fail to pay a bill, fail at yelling at our kids, fail a test, fail a goal; fail, fail, and fail.  And yet, I don’t want to purposefully set out to do something that I MIGHT fail at.  

But, I don’t know if I’ll fail until I try.  And even if I fail, I might fail because of things beyond my control.  So, here I sit, worried that I might fail and failing to start which means I fail before I even begin.

So, do I try and fail?  Or Fail to try?

Minding my motives

Short one today, I think (you hope).  God is working on me daily and, I’ll admit I fail multiple times each day at His drills.  I appreciate and am thankful that He continues to love me and forgive me for my failed attempts.

My challenge right this very minute is working on checking my motivations.  It’s not the kind of motivation where I have none and I need to get some (but, well, I fail there too – just look at my house).  The motivation I’m falling short in is the reason for my, well, my everything.

Why did I say that?  Why DIDN’T I say THAT?  What made me react that way?  Why is this bothering me? And, most of the time, when I reflect on the day’s actions or experiences, I find that my motivations were selfish and not about others as God would have them be.

So, I just wanted to say that I know that my motivations aren’t always where they should be and I’m working on them.

Romans 12: 2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Tit 2:7-8 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

Freezing Rice

In my constant search to make dinner easier, I've been reading up on preparing meals ahead of time (it also helps in my dinner business!).

Today, I had a quieter day than usual, so I thought I'd cook some brown rice ahead of time and freeze it for later use.

I searched on the internet under "Freezing Rice" and found several links for information, I used "How to Freeze Cooked Rice".

For my prep today, I used 4-1/2 cups brown rice (what I had left in my container), 8 + cups water and a toss of salt. 

For variety, you could use chicken stock instead of water and/or add frozen vegetables to the mix.

I cooked the rice according to directions -- it took a bit longer as the quantity was larger (I don't have a rice cooker).  I brought the water, rice and salt to a boil and then simmered on low heat for 15 minutes, covered (yes I set a timer).  After 15 minutes, I stirred it and there was still about 1/2 inch of water (liquid) on top of the rice, so I set the timer for another 5 minutes -- still on low heat simmer.  At the end of the 2nd time, there was just a bit of liquid left at the bottom, but not much. 

I stirred again, and made up Quart Freezer Ziploc bags marked "Brown Rice 2 C Microwave 3 minutes".  (these instructions are from the website above).  One site said bag at room temperature, another said bag while warm so the moisture stays in the bag.

4-1/2 cups uncooked rice made 6- 2 Cup bags of cooked rice (12 cups).  I assumed 1/2 cup serving size, so 4 servings a bag.

The instructions say to open the Ziploc bag a bit when microwaving so the steam vents; and microwave 3 minutes.  The instructions used 1 C bags, so microwave times may vary a bit.

Next time I'll add some frozen peas or mixed vegetables in the bag before freezing (not cooked with the rice).

Enjoy!