People really tick me off

Ever have those days where just about EVERYONE really ticks you off? Well, I’ve been having a LOT of those days lately and it’s made me pretty reflective about myself. I don’t want to grow into one of those old ladies who shakes her cane at children as they play in the park, but then I think, maybe I’m already there…

• People who can’t seem to use a crosswalk because they’re apparently too stinking lazy to walk a few more feet (gasp – maybe even yards!) to be in a crosswalk. These are the same people who have the audacity to glare at me because I had to stop quickly to avoid them as they lazily stroll across the parking lot or street while talking on their cell phone. I can’t tell you how my foot itches to stomp on the gas pedal during these times. Usually the only thing that stops me is that they are dragging at least one innocent child with them (or pushing a stroller).

• People that think blinkers (a/k/a turn signals) are an option when changing lanes or turning a specific direction while driving. I think they come standard on every motor vehicle. There’s PROBABLY a reason for this. I think it’s so the people behind you in traffic can tell where you intend on driving next so we can avoid being behind you.

• People who can’t leave a message on the answering machine. Or people who can’t leave a message that I CAN UNDERSTAND. Or people that call, leave a message and then call my cell phone and leave a message and then call the home phone again. If you have an emergency THAT HUGE, the number to dial is 911. They will have men with a lovely selection of self-hugging jackets visit you and take you to your new home. You may even get a shiny pair of bracelets to wear for a while. While I’m at it, people who can’t let the phone RING long enough to let the answering machine/voicemail answer the call. In their haste to answer the call from yet another telemarketer (yes, we have CALLER ID!) they crushed two small children and smashed several toys into the floor; and then whine because they hurt themselves in the flight.

• People who are apathetic. Well, maybe I really don’t care about that one as much.
• People who have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about but will argue with you just to argue – even if they know you’re right. These are the same people who like to take one word from the dialogue and throw it back in your face because they disagree with the ‘meaning’ of that word. And, they randomly throw in words like “racist” or “Bigot” or “religious nut/whacko” because it’s obvious to them that the only reason you have these beliefs is because the voices from god (small “g”) tell you so.

• People who are for any reason, at any time, to any person; inconsiderate. I blame this on the children from the 60’s. “If it feels good, do it” no longer really has any basis in ADULT life. “Please” and “Thank You” have taken a vacation for far too long. They are tired of visiting other places and want to come home. To stay. And, it’s really NOT necessary for you to cut in line (or in traffic). Getting there 5 seconds earlier than everyone else does not make you anything more than a jerk that got there before everyone else. The upside for this for those of us that didn’t beat you is we probably get to leave first as your car is stuck behind the 3,547,894,124 other fast jerks that got there with you.

• People who think their money (or car or home) makes them more important than all the “little people”. Not everyone with money feels this way, thankfully. Someone in your family tree was a “little people” at one time; and you could be there again rather quickly if not for the grace of God and your broker. Oh, and your secret bank account in the Seychelles. My money is the same color green as yours. It spends the same. I may not spend as much of it at once as you do, but everyone needs to buy toilet paper and toothpaste. Get over yourself.

• People who believe that a problem not solved is just a problem with not enough money thrown at it. Fix the stinking problem. Don’t just wallpaper over the cracks with dollar bills. They’re probably not your bills anyways.

• People who don’t understand the concept of following the law. This means that you file your taxes, pay your bills, get the appropriate paperwork and don’t steal your neighbor’s TV (or car or home). Even if you don’t like the rules. These people seem to think that laws are small annoyances that boring people (apparently, like myself) adhere to because we’re not creative enough to do otherwise. I have plenty of ideas of how I’d live a life of crime and corruption. I was just raised well enough not to follow through with them; I write about them in fiction novels instead.

• People who don’t do their job; then whine or complain or manage to find a way to get someone else to do it for them; and then take the credit for it. If you want a job where you get all the credit for doing the job while doing absolutely nothing, I believe there are several government positions available called ‘representative’ or ‘congressman/woman’. Elections are held annually; good luck.

• People who change the rules because they don’t like them (or they’re not winning). This is cheating. It’s also cheating when you make the numbers “look right” or ‘fudge things just a bit’. Or give yourself an unfair advantage – even if others could do the same. Or stand on the side of the line that’s shady, even if it’s not apparent to everyone else that it’s shady.

• People who don’t think that competing is ‘fair’. Someone always has to come in 2nd: in baseball, business contracts and political races. This is called life. Just because you came in 2nd does not make you a loser; it makes you 2nd best. This is not an insult. The only time you ‘lose’ is when you cheat or choose not to compete at all because you might lose. Some of the biggest winners in the world did not start out that way.


Now, as you’re reading this, you’re thinking what a hypocritical, judgmental jerk I am. I know, I feel the same way. Sometimes I actually forget to use my blinker or take a short-cut and walk across the parking lot NOT using the crosswalk. And, when I do, you can shake your cane at me, too.