Yellow vs. Gold-fish

You might be a parent or a child-caretaker if:

• You are either wiping one end or the other of a small-ish person all day long.  
• You can walk in a room and tell that someone has pooped vs. farted.
• There are Dora or Elmo underwear, pants, and socks on various surfaces of your house.
• You do at least one load of laundry per day because of “accidents”.
• Goldfish and pretzels are gourmet snacks.
• Friday’s are “Pancake” day.
• The days of the weeks are called out by their activity.
• All the kids can count to three because that’s all the choices you give them.
• There is regular and sometimes violent fighting over a car-seat or booster seat.
• You can sing the theme song from most (if not all) of the children’s programming on several different stations.
• There is usually at least one person crying; sometimes it’s you.
• You are required to know the difference between a bucket loader and a back-hoe front-loader.
• You know where all the construction sites are in town and re-arrange your errand/driving pattern so the kids can see them.
• You can explain the difference to a two-year-old between a “transit” and “school” bus.
• You wave to school bus drivers because you’ve met them in the bus pull-through even though your kids don’t ride the bus.
• You get emails from all the local elementary schools with lunch schedules and newsletters.
• You dance in the kitchen, but not because there’s any music.  You’re actually dodging the dog and several children playing underfoot.
• A field trip is going to the library, drug store or grocery store and it takes 30 minutes to get two items.
• You regularly use bribes and extortion to get what you want.
• You need the nap times more than the kids because you just want to think for an hour without hearing Dora in your head.
• You drive around town with a talking potty in your car.
• You can repeat the dialogue from most Disney movies verbatim, but you’ve not really ever ‘watched’ them more than once or twice.
• You purge the toys to get rid of the old, unused, boring or out-dated items and then go to Value Village to buy more toys.
• You know that the yellow goldfish actually do taste different than the gold ones.