Silence

So, apparently I wasn't supposed to tell people that we're cutting back on expenses and that eating out with a large group wasn't really in the budget.

Apparently, people trying to live within their means are supposed to take this vow of silence, and keep it quiet without letting anyone know.

Because no one else is too chicken to say "We can't afford it." or "We choose not to spend our money that way."

Instead I'm supposed to quietly ask for help from "those that can afford it" instead of letting everyone know my feelings.

Sorry, that doesn't work for me.  I said that WE wouldn't be participating because it wasn't in OUR budget.  And, I'm not too proud to ask for help, but that wasn't the point of the conversation.  Hopefully, someone else -- someone who is less comfortable voicing their opinion -- is struggling with keeping a tight rein on their finances too.

It's not the end of the world.  It's just dinner and we choose not to participate due to finances.  If it makes you uncomfortable that I talk about my finances or lack thereof, that's your issue and not mine.

The other day, while driving around (which I do a LOT), my mind wandered (it does that A LOT) to how else we could be cutting back on expenses.  Like many families, we are trying to stem the flow of our hemorrhaging bank accounts while continuing to live. 

It occurred to me, again, how expensive children are.  Parents-to-be and new parents are usually quite astounded at the cost of diapers, labor and delivery, and baby food; not to mention stroller, crib and clothing.  But, the costs only grow as the kids do.

Currently, I have two “children” living at home; one who is 14.  He, like his siblings before him have come to expect certain creature comforts like his own room, an un-ending supply of peanut butter, nuttella and sandwich bread; among other luxuries.

Organized sports are a luxury modern day kids seem to accept as a “necessity”.  We have participated in soccer, basketball, little league and football over the years.  All of these sports come with costs – physical, financial, emotional and time.  Sports are good for teaching team-building and good sportsmanship, skills and physical maturity.  It’s a great place to make friends and learn about the kinds of people you don’t want to hang out with. 

And, it’s financially expensive.  I ran a quick report on the sports expenses for this calendar year.  This year he’s only been involved in one sport, so it wasn’t a long list, but it was kind of…enlightening.  Over a sports season there are all kinds of costs that add up to a pretty big chunk of a budget.  Don’t believe me?  Here are my “facts”:

We start the year out by registering for football. 

Football Registration                            $300.00                   -- non-refundable, due before season begins.  This includes uniform pants, jersey with name, helmet and shoulder pads.

Then there are sporting goods like shoes, mouth guards, rib pads, girdle, knee pads, gloves, armbands, socks.  He grew out of last year’s shoes and gloves and the socks never make it more than one year so we have to buy those “new” every year.  Yes, I’ve tried used shoes, but I haven’t been fortunate enough to find friends with children whose shoes fit my child.  And, instead of driving around 16 places, I save gas and shop at just a few places.  He goes through 2-3 mouth guards each season; we had rib pads and kneepads from last year. 

Athletic Supplies (Various)                 $315.00

We’ve been fortunate to have most of our games on the “Eastside”; but out of 8 games, only three have been on our home turf.  We’ve had to drive to the other games, but have been fortunate to only have one “distant” game – Bainbridge Island.  We have to go there again this weekend for “playoffs” (we’re last in the league – what’s the point?).  Bainbridge Island is accessible by ferry boat or by driving around.  Both are pretty expensive, but driving around costs a lot of time in the car, so we chose the monetarily expensive ferry ride.  A little tourism with our football.

Driving to the ferry terminal in Seattle means we have to choose between two bridges; one a toll-bridge and one not.  We chose the toll-bridge because it’s closer and, well, as creatures of habit, the few times we drive to Seattle, we take this bridge.  Because we forgot to pay ahead for the toll online, there was an additional charge.  This weekend when we go, I’ve registered for the online toll, which is cheaper in the long run, but I had to put a balance online to activate the account.

“Good to Go”                                            $6.46                        -- driving across and back the first weekend

                                                                        $30.00                       -- set up account w/ balance for the 2^nd weekend

Based on all the driving over the season, I calculated that we used approximately one tank of gas.  I used a tank for the cheaper vehicle because that’s the one we usually use on the weekends.

Fuel (Estimated)                                      $60.00

The Washington State Ferry system charges for Driver plus passengers on the way out of Seattle, but only driver and car on the way back.

Ferry (To Bainbridge IS)                       $73.00                      -- this represents two trips over

Ferry (To Seattle)                                    $32.80                      -- this represents two trips back

And then, there are the other expenses like snacks.  We have to be an hour early for the games for weigh-in; then sit around while the boys warm up and the game before us finishes up.  Sometimes it’s a nice day with sunshine; mostly it’s wet or damp and cold and windy.  I’ve packed snacks from the fridge to tide us over for the approximately 2 hour game, plus the hour wait at the beginning; sometimes I’ve brought coffee in a thermos or popcorn (Trails-end of course!).  Sometimes we purchase a coffee or a meal on the road, but again, we’re trying to cut back so I had to plan ahead a bit.

Snacks                                                          $40.00

The league has a photo day every year.  It’s voluntary to purchase a photo, but it’s nice to have something relatively professional to add in to all the phone and digital camera photos that we take.  We purchase a team photo package and four magnets which we give to the older sisters and a neighbor.  We don’t have grandparents to send photos to, so it saves us a bit.

Photos                                                         $42.50

And then there are the expenses that aren’t expected but necessary.  The league is big on concussion recognition, so every time a kid gets hit or hurt, there’s the check-over by a team dad (who in our case happens to be a doctor).  On a particularly hot day, Blake got hit in the game and complained of a headache.  We all figured it was dehydration (WHY won’t they drink water when you tell them to?), but because of league rules we had to have him checked out by a doctor in a medical facility before he could practice or play again. 

Emergency Room Visit                          $20                             -- verify Blake did not have a concussion -- Co-pay

So what’s the grand total for this entire year (actually just 5 months – June through October) of football?

$866.86                                                       GULP!   That’s almost One-thousand dollars.

I haven’t even added in the season-end costs of coach gifts or the year-end “party”.  I’ll put that at roughly another $50, although if the “party” is dinner out, it will be closer to $100 (meal for three plus coach gifts). 

And I haven’t calculated the sports costs for the last 9 years or added in the costs for the next four.  That’s “a grand” just for one 5 month period of time in one child’s life.

Guess I’ll have to find another way to cut costs…maybe in my “next life” I’ll cut costs by not having kids.  J