People constantly remind me of Chicken Little when there is any kind of weather in the Seattle area. Instead of “The Sky is falling!” we’re chorused with whimpers and moans and grunts and complaints about everything from snow plows to school closures to traffic problems.
Yes, snow is an inconvenience. Yes, it’s a bother and a nuisance and dangerous and, it’s…weather. Hard as we’d like to, we can’t control it. Heck, our meteorologists after years of school and conferences and with all their little Doppler’s and satellites can’t even tell us FOR CERTAIN what will happen from hour to hour. At best, it’s a guess. Sometimes they guess right, sometimes they are completely off track.
So, when we’re told it’s going to snow, PNW’ers fall in a couple of categories – they are either prepared and deal with it (dare I say, they might even ENJOY it) or they completely fall apart and become Chicken Little’s with no sense.
For my friends that are reading this and thinking I’m being harsh or mean; it’s not my intent to be so. I just want to point out some simple truths about weather – namely snow – in our fair region.
Weather is controlled by – wait for it – a higher power. In my case GOD. If you don’t believe in God, then well, you can believe that a butterfly or a crystal or a number of chants in the right way, tone and meaning control the weather. But the main point here is that we as HUMANS DON’T CONTROL the weather.
You can either be prepared or swept away. If the guy (or gal) on the TV (radio/internet/cable) says it’s going to snow I’d get in the car and buy some necessities. Milk, toilet paper, rice, candles and batteries. Except for the milk (which you can freeze) none of that goes bad and you should probably be stocked up on that regardless of what time of year it is or where you live.
This is a fantastic time to be a good neighbor. That extra bag of coffee beans in your freezer (gasp!) would be fantastic if you have a neighbor that’s unexpectedly out. You know, she thought she had coffee, but her husband used the last of it for his late-night FPS/RPG game blitz and she needs her jolt to be able to cope with the now at home kids. Give her the bag of coffee beans. Offer to drive to the store in your gas-guzzling SUV (or Subaru or Audi) and get your neighbors milk, coffee, toilet paper, rice, candles and batteries. Offer to cook them dinner or bring them leftovers or let them use your shower or your phone (several times we have been the only house on the block that has hot water, a working telephone and enough candles to light a séance conference).
DO NOT GLOAT that you have prepared ahead for the “emergency” because you actually paid attention to all the weather reports. Learn to shrug your shoulders, smile and be gracious because you have planned ahead and can be a helpful person. In the future invite them to your candle parties and remind them how you stock up for virtually free by hosting parties. It’s also helpful if you have an extra freezer with lots of food.
You should retain a sense of humor. Joke frequently about snow dances, your candle parties and stock in Duracell. And, don’t forget to mention frequently your 4WD gas-guzzling SUV and the huge tires that you have; because you know, it’s about the only time that it’s cool to NOT be green. Laughing at your neighbor in their KIA/Prius is really not very neighborly (but I won’t tell if you don’t). Accept the responsibility for being blamed for the weather because you’re enjoying it and prepared for it (and you’ve been joking about doing your snow dance for weeks!)
My life is more important than (almost) any stupid job. So if you’re my employer and you don’t agree with me, then I welcome you to pay for my auto insurance and healthcare while I recuperate from the accident that wasn’t caused by me but was caused by the IDIOT who wanted to get to work (or home) just a few minutes faster and drove their car into mine causing an eight car pile-up in which several trees and cars lost their lives. Fortunately no humans died. Unless I’m a first responder or responsible for transportation (snow plows, buses or emergency vehicles) I’m going to stay home, eat brownies and play on Facebook. If you’re going to fire me I’ll look for jobs while I’m at home in my sweats.
The life of my child(ren) – is more important than any stupid class or funding you may receive for a partial day of education. If “Snowmageddon” is forecasted, then I’m doing everyone a favor and keeping myself and my children home. Late starts and early releases only add to the hysteria because not only do I have to figure out how to contact my child at school during a lock-down (because you don’t have enough phone lines and won’t let them use their cell phones) but I either have to walk to get them or drive the THREE BLOCKS FROM MY HOME to the school. The fewer vehicles (and pedestrians) on the road during an “emergency” the better. Make up your mind and close school – even if you’re wrong. Of course, you COULD stop giving the kids every day under the sun off during the 9 months they ARE in school and that might take care of the lack of adequate school days…
Have a plan. Have a first aid kit. Have extra clothing (Value Village is perfect because you don’t pay too much for stuff you’ll only use once or twice). And did I mention extra rice, batteries, candles, coffee and toilet paper? Oh, and keep my number handy. You’ll need it in case you want to get some coffee or blame me for the weather…
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