I have suspended the housecleaners for the summer and I decide to vacuum this morning.
Find the vacuum cleaner, plug it in, move a bit of furniture. Turn on the vacuum.
Turn off the vacuum because the dog is barking at it. It's a toy. I'd forgotten this. Put the dog upstairs and shut the door. Turn the vacuum back on.
Finish vacuuming the tile and move to the bedroom. Turn off the vacuum to move the unfolded BOYS laundry (not my job to fold and put away -- their clothing, their job). Turn on vacuum and vacuum the carpet around the bed. Turn off vacuum because the NEW CARPET has unraveled and is now wrapped around the beater bar of the vacuum.
Go upstairs. Find the business card for the carpet company. Find the payment information on Quicken. Look up the business hours – have to wait an hour before they’re open to call them and complain about my NEW CARPET that is fraying.
Go back downstairs. Decide to take a photo of the damage; back upstairs. Find the phone, back downstairs and take a couple of photos. Back upstairs because if I don’t put my phone where I can find it, I will never find it.
Back downstairs. Vacuum everywhere except the frayed part of the carpet. Move to the media room; move furniture. Notice the garbage hasn’t been emptied even though Tuesday’s job is to EMPTY all the inside garbage cans into the outside receptacles because WEDNESDAY is garbage day. Empty the garbage.
Turn the vacuum back on and vacuum the media room, returning all the furniture to its correct position. Vacuum the stairs.
Mentally note that I started the carpet removal project on the stairs four years ago and they are still only half finished.
Mentally note that the hole in the landing at the front door is getting bigger.
Mentally note that I’ll need the ladder to dust the entry way (this will likely never get done).
Mentally note that the un-carpeted part of the stairs needs to be cleaned, sanded, stained and sealed. (This will likely never get done).
Decide to blog about this. Actually, I was going to post it on Facebook, but it’s too long so I open a Word Document and blog about it.
Finish the stairs. One toddler is crying because of the vacuum noise. Phone alarm goes off; it’s time to take one kid to camp training. Find phone, keys, purse, and wallet. Drive to drop-off.
Return home, put things on floor up on the counter, remind 4 year old to go potty and start to vacuum again. Toddler crying about vacuum. Move couch and ask toddler to put the toys away that were under the couch. Vacuum living room. Toddler STILL crying about vacuum. Send them all outside to play.
Now I need to make snack. Wait. I should call the carpet guy first. Its 9:06 no one answers. I leave a voicemail. I hate voicemail. Now I have to remember to follow up.
Snack. I’ll pick strawberries from the garden. Strawberries are mushy from too much rain. Get enough for snack. Have to clean them. Toddler needs to go potty, can’t find her underwear and swears her cloths are too small.
Carpet guy calls back. He can’t fit me in until July 1st. When I tell him it’s likely a full fix and the guys didn’t leave any carpet pieces or my hemmed remnant (as promised), he has to call me back to reschedule. I need to send him a photo of the damage.
Open up OneDrive to transfer photos for email. Download, rotate and email photos. Text husband to see if there are carpet scraps. There are. Wait for return phone call from carpet guy.
Snacks downstairs, outside. Play in-and-out with dog who can’t decide where he wants to be.
Go downstairs, get clean couch throw. Put couch throw over couch upstairs. Remember I need to wash other cover; but I have to wait in line for laundry because someone’s load is in the wash.
Move dining room furniture to vacuum. Vacuum, then remember to move all the cords and toys that are left out.
Mentally note that I need to come up with lunch.
Two hours later and I’ve vacuumed the media room, bedroom, stairs, hallway, living dining and kitchen and nothing much else.
This is why I pay for housekeeping. This is why my house always looks half-cleaned. This is why I complete nothing.
***Very few dust bunnies were harmed in the creation of this post. Those that are still alive will replicate and expand until it's no longer noticeable that I've even cleaned within 24 hours.***
