Seasons

I ran across this poem while researching changes, seasons and experiences:

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

Speak Not

God has been working with me a lot lately on speaking and not. What hills are “to die on” and what battles to walk away from. I spent a large deal of my childhood and young adult life not saying what I felt or standing up for my beliefs. It took me getting married to my husband and spending over 20 years with him to learn to talk, voice, speak my opinions.


When God works on your life, he gives plenty of practice in the areas he’s working on. For instance, just yesterday, I was in line for a sporting activity and was talking to a person I know about a recent baseball game. It was a seemingly friendly conversation; their team beat our team in a finals game and we were reviewing homeruns, errors, great plays, etc. It was all fun and games until this person essentially said that they allowed us to hit a homerun because the runs wouldn’t have won the game anyways.

Yes, he was right, we didn’t win. The homerun was hit with two outs on the board and we were down by three. Our next batter hit a single and the next batter struck out, leaving the score with us one under. We lost; they won.

I was stunned at the condescension, the arrogance and the mean-spirited unsportsman-like conduct of this adult man. I’m sure he thought it was funny. What I said was “Well, that was nice of you” (heavy on the sarcasm). But as we finished the activity and the afternoon carried on, I thought even more deeply about the attitude that statement portrayed.

This man, a coach of a baseball team that his son is on (he has coached for several years) thought it was acceptable to speak to another human being about what is essentially a game of chance. On any given day, any team can lose or win. It doesn’t matter who is pitching, batting, running or catching; everyone makes mistakes and sometimes games get lost because of those mistakes.

What was so hurtful to me was that this man found it funny that we lost. He missed the point that we had as much chance of winning as we did of losing. And it was neither him nor his team that created the allowance to win or lose. It was the way the game is played.

I wanted so badly to tell him off; to point out how juvenile and mean-spirited his comments were. I wanted to tell him that it was a poor show of principal to be so smug. Instead I just sarcastically said how nice it was to rub salt in the wound. After that the conversation ended and I concentrated on the activity we were at. I guess I still have a lot to learn regarding speaking my mind.

Being Invited

One of the rules in my house growing up was not to invite yourself over to someone’s house. If you were invited, that was fine. If I wanted to go to someone’s house, I needed to be invited and my mom would always check that the invitation had been given, not asked for.


It’s one of those dumb rules I’ve carried with me to this day. Don’t go where you’ve not been asked. Stay away from gatherings that don’t involve you or you weren’t invited to. Try not to be nosey or interfere where it’s not necessary.

I’ve “lost” several friends in the last two years; for a variety of reasons ranging from Facebook interactions, political differences, dishonesty and misunderstandings. It’s always painful and I spend a lot of time analyzing the middle and the end and attempting to learn something from the lesson.

Friendships aren’t any easier as I get older, in fact, they are in many ways more difficult because they mean more; and I’m less tolerant of drama. I don’t have a lot of regulations about friendships; I have different friends for different reasons (see here) and it’s never seemed to be a problem. I have movie friends, drinking friends, baseball or scout friends; friend’s I see regularly and friends I only contact at Christmas or birthdays.

So when a friendship starts to wobble, I always wonder, is it me? Did I go where I shouldn’t have? Said something I should have kept quiet about? Nosed in where I wasn’t wanted? Been critical or negative or discouraging? Was it politics or religion or maturity or geography?

Most of the time I’m willing to take the hit; accept the blame, embrace the responsibility for the bits and pieces of the end. Maybe it’s me. It probably is me. I don’t know how to be someone else but I’m trying. I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted; I won’t invite myself. But, I also don’t know how to be concerned, helpful, encouraging or caring; when I’m asked not to be. I don’t know how to come over if I’m not invited.

Just a photo post...

 I thought I'd post some photos of my garden and yard, past and present. Just for fun.



My new White Phlox.  I've not planted Phlox before, but I'm excited to see what it does.  It was a gift from a friend I shared Tall Grass with.  Thanks Mouna!




The Camelia I bought at a local Technical College plant sale.



White Lilac in bloom.  I love June!

 

Wegelia. 



African Daisy in a container.  I love them!

Herbs and Potatoes in containers.

My garden June 2011

Dogwood in full bloom.

Jackson & Perkins "Snowfire" rose.
My favorite, but they don't sell them anymore.



Butterfly Bush blooms.



Clematis climbing on the deck stairs.

Gerbera Daisies

cuttings from my garden

White Admiral Butterfly

See?  No politics or religion!  :)